Short & Sweet:

I've got some issues that nobody can see

And all of these emotions are pourin' outta me

I bring them to the light for you It's only right

This is the soundtrack to my life

The soundtrack to my life

Pity drama, apparently makes the world go round. Uh, who would of thought that? See I'm generally a drama-free person, hard to believe if you observed my life for a day, but seriously if you watched super closely, you would realize it's everyone around me and there's like an invisible wall, which sometimes doesn't work because an opinion is asked of me. Why am i talking about pity drama you ask? well its short and simple, some of my friends create it, no joke I'm being legit here. How many times is a situation have to going to replay itself before you understand what you need to do differently before history repeats itself? well for some of my friends Z in particular numerous times, and i think she finally broke the cycle after an enormous dispute took place....but in other news, the whole cold turkey thing is slowly and painfully killing me. I legit can't even go and sit in class with my friends because i don't wanna have to be near him, which is probably going to be way worst seeing as I'm across the room from J (completely diff from J.M) now and its agony...if only i was exaggerating . Bright side of my entire day was making delicious brownies with my friends, and going semi-grocery shopping for junk food and karaoking.

oh hot damn this is my jam,

bee :)

Cold Turkey:

Moving on.
It's just a chapter in the past.
But don't close the book, just turn the page.

So yeah I'm pretty much a broken record these days, and i tried fixing that this week actually this revelation sorta hit me yesterday...Why pine over someone i can never be with? know what i mean, like that one person that you can never truly get over, trust me has hard as i tried, i practically forced myself to develop feelings for other guys but then i struck gold, at least some thing like that. See as i previously mentioned i switched school, anyways i liked this dude J.M and its kind of weird how it happened, freshmen year it was second semester and this guy was in my class for two weeks already and i never noticed him and then all of a sudden he was all i saw in class, ha ha but not in like a creeper/stalker kind of way..i would embellish but I'd rather not seeing as it would go against my "DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM" promise-all i have to say is that i haven't meet a sweeter,funnier, smart, super cute guy to this point, guys with these qualities but not all of them, yes i know that's asking for too much- anyways I'm now sadly realizing going cold turkey sucks big time! But now at my new school there was this guy in my English class, and hes kinda funny and cute actually he is cute and funny and all around he doesn't seem like a bad guy. but that's beside the point, it kind of felt like we had a connection at some point, i would catch him glancing at me and he the same. We'd have thoughts movie like moments where your eyes lock, etc... you get the point and then like a few weeks later i get on facebook and the first update i see is that two minutes ago he just got into a relationship, WTF MUCH!? so i shrugged it off and they like apparently break up like 3 weeks later...whose fault? i have no idea and the same shit starts happening again in English...so my Revelation yesterday was to just pretend i feel nothing for him except friendship and i just wanna say it sucks, which is taking a toll on me, because I'm generally a bubbly, super happy person to the point where its board line annoying. Uh plus to top it all off, Track and Field is legit killing me, on random days we do these drills in the sickly hot as hell temperature.

Too legit to quite,

bee :)

Cheers to new beginings :)

"And since life is a gamble like the tables at Vegas,
I freestyle my destiny, it's not written in pages."

So since of lately I've had all these thoughts just floating in my mind and no one to tell...seriously i have people to tell its just that they don't take me seriously...i mean i understand I'm not exactly a super serious person i have my moments but 10 to 1 I'm making a silly face or just acting goofy...can you blame me? life's to short to take everything serious all the time no what i mean? anyways huh! that's the least of my problems/worries on my plate this year. Not only am i graduating early from high school this year(actually like this med school is a long journey, but the classes are tres hard), i had to change high schools because we moved, which made me have to leave all of my friends behind sad-face at this...but no worries actually like my new school, i got to catch up with some of my friends from middle school...i have to also juggle finding time to fit track and field, driving school( yes i know I'm kind of late with this but my permits about to expire and I'm not studying for that shit again), this student organization where we do fundraisers for hunger prevention, all into my schedule and its legit driving me crazy...so far its gotten to the point where i feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions that i might tear apart. Ha-ha i truly sound like an old person right? should i really being have all this stress at sixteen, i don't think so. but its whatevs because im pretty sure i just went into a mega rant and i wanna end this on a happy note...Ha-ha as weird as this may sound-promise to embellish later- im finally CRUSH free :)

peace outtie,

Bee :)